ACT II - Scene II 小说：All's Well That Ends Well     作者：William Shakespeare [ 阅读设置与语言切换 ] 设置背景颜色： 段落首字母是否突出显示： 是 否 段落文本是否两端对齐： 是 否 翻页快捷键：上一章（左箭头：←）下一章（右箭头：→） Rousillon. The COUNT'S palaceEnter COUNTESS and CLOWNCOUNTESSCome on, sir; I shall now put you to the height of your breeding.CLOWNI will show myself highly fed and lowly taught. I know my business is but to the court.COUNTESSTo the court! Why, what place make you special, when you put off that with such contempt? But to the court!CLOWNTruly, madam, if God have lent a man any manners, he may easily put it off at court. He that cannot make a leg, put off's cap, kiss his hand, and say nothing, has neither leg, hands, lip, nor cap; and indeed such a fellow, to say precisely, were not for the court; but for me, I have an answer will serve all men.COUNTESSMarry, that's a bountiful answer that fits all questions.CLOWNIt is like a barber's chair, that fits all buttocks-the pin buttock, the quatch buttock, the brawn buttock, or any buttock.COUNTESSWill your answer serve fit to all questions?CLOWNAs fit as ten groats is for the hand of an attorney, as your French crown for your taffety punk, as Tib's rush for Tom's forefinger, as a pancake for Shrove Tuesday, a morris for Mayday, as the nail to his hole, the cuckold to his horn, as a scolding quean to a wrangling knave, as the nun's lip to the friar's mouth; nay, as the pudding to his skin.COUNTESSHave you, I, say, an answer of such fitness for all questions?CLOWNFrom below your duke to beneath your constable, it will fit any question.COUNTESSIt must be an answer of most monstrous size that must fit all demands.CLOWNBut a trifle neither, in good faith, if the learned should speak truth of it. Here it is, and all that belongs to't. Ask me if I am a courtier: it shall do you no harm to learn.COUNTESSTo be young again, if we could, I will be a fool in question, hoping to be the wiser by your answer. I pray you, sir, are you a courtier?CLOWNO Lord, sir!-There's a simple putting off. More, more, a hundred of them.COUNTESSSir, I am a poor friend of yours, that loves you.CLOWNO Lord, sir!-Thick, thick; spare not me.COUNTESSI think, sir, you can eat none of this homely meat.CLOWNO Lord, sir!-Nay, put me to't, I warrant you.COUNTESSYou were lately whipp'd, sir, as I think.CLOWNO Lord, sir!-Spare not me.COUNTESSDo you cry 'O Lord, sir!' at your whipping, and 'spare not me'? Indeed your 'O Lord, sir!' is very sequent to your whipping. You would answer very well to a whipping, if you were but bound to't.CLOWNI ne'er had worse luck in my life in my 'O Lord, sir!' I see thing's may serve long, but not serve ever.COUNTESSI play the noble housewife with the time, To entertain it so merrily with a fool.CLOWNO Lord, sir!-Why, there't serves well again.COUNTESSAn end, sir! To your business: give Helen this, And urge her to a present answer back; Commend me to my kinsmen and my son. This is not much.CLOWNNot much commendation to them?COUNTESSNot much employment for you. You understand me?CLOWNMost fruitfully; I am there before my legs.COUNTESSHaste you again.Exeunt Previous Chapter Next Chapter